Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize