He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
