When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
