I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
