farters have to be the big spoon...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
