I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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