we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Terrible idea I love it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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