He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize