i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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