I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
