I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
