Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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