And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
