FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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