If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
