i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Randomize
