How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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