Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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