WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize