we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
