I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The feeling are messing with the penis
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
