Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize