Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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