So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
