So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
its not stalking. its research.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The beer is more important than you right now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
