so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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