That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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