we're blogging at a bar
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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