Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
