He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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