is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
