maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize