you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize