it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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