We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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