There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
