I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
