Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
