Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
