its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
