stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
