I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize