So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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