man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
