i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize