i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
