So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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