shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
