My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize