I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sponge bath it is.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
