I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Shame - the story of my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
