Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
