You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
