Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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