her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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