I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
