I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
