I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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