You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Even my vagina gasped.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
