So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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