How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
