I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
