Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
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