Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize