YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
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