Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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