You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize