pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
